Guy in my class: Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.

Teacher: You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.

Guy: Well...yeah.

Teacher: Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

honeymalum:

BEING AT A CONCERT AND WANTING TO ENJOY EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT BUT ALSO WANTING TO TAKE GOOD VIDEO AND PICTURES TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING

image

(via krisjenwhore)

prussian-lullaby:

monocromas:

deathrock:

becausebirds:

The blackest bird there ever was. It’s black on the outside from head to toe, and black on the inside with its meat and organs.

It’s called the Ayam Cemani from Indonesia, and they’re $2,500 a pop. Their bones are black, too. The only part of them that’s not black is their blood 

That’s metal.

The biggest, blackest cock

(via vineofficial)